The “Melissa” virus put computer viruses on the frontpages of the world’s newspapers, and although it was allegedlynamed after a Florida topless dancer, the speed at which Melissaspread means it’s time to start taking viruses more seriously.For years, I laughed off viruses–didn’t even use antivirussoftware–but nowadays that casualness works about as well withcomputers as it does with sex. Protection matters.

But, first off, know that the majority of “viruses”you hear about–in frantic e-mails forwarded from colleagues orpals–are rubbish. Such as? Literally millions of e-mails haveclogged the Net with warnings about “the AIDS virus,”which supposedly “eats away” your memory. “Whenit’s finished with memory, it infects your mouse . . . then itgoes to your keyboard.”

Nonsense. There is no such computer code.

That’s why, whenever you get alerted to a new virus, yourfirst stop should be at a site that tracks virus hoaxes. Odds are,you’ll find this “menace” listed. Where to look? Twogood tracking sites are “Computer Virus Myths”(http://www.kumite.com/myths) andComputer Incident Advisory Capability: Internet Hoaxes (http://ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/CIACHoaxes.html).

This scoffing doesn’t mean you don’t need protection. AsMelissa vividly demonstrated, there are nasty viruses out there.That’s why you need any of the main antivirus programs: NortonAntivirus (http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html);McAfee’s VirusScan (http://vil.mcafee.com/villib/alpha.asp);or Dr. Solomon’s AntiVirus Toolkit (http://www.drsolomon.com/vircen/index.cfm).

The beauty of these programs (in my opinion, they’re aboutequal in value) is that, once installed, they automatically searchyour drives and incoming downloads for threats to your system. Thisis no-brainer protection.

Then can you rest easy? Nope. You have to keep your antivirussoftware updated, because deviant geeks are daily issuing newviruses. To stay immune, you need to pay a monthly visit to yourantivirus tool’s Web site. Download any patches and updates,and you’ll probably be well-guarded against the next Melissa .. . at least the cybervarieties. As for the others, just stay outof strip clubs and you’ll be fine.

RobertMcGarvey started exploring the online world over a decade ago withGenie, and has been writing on–and complaining about–the Net eversince. He writes about the Web for Entrepreneur, BizTravel.comand Upside.