We think deep, but we often talk shallow.

If you’ve ever argued with a partner, you understand this. You might fight about who should clean the sink, but it’s not really about the sink — it’s about something deeper, like feeling unappreciated. But because big things are hard to talk about, we often express ourselves through little things.

The same thing happens at work. A coworker might snap at you. A client might complain about something small and meaningless. Your job is to figure out what they’re really saying — because that’s the only way to really solve the issue.

Recently, I came across 10 magic words that do exactly this. It might be the most clarifying sentence you’ll ever speak.

Related: 9 Best Practices to Improve Your Communication Skills and Become a More Effective Leader

Whenever someone acts strange or upset, just say this: “It seems like you’ve got a reason for saying that.”

I picked up that phrase from negotiation expert Chris Voss, the former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference. Just imagine using it:

Your spouse yells at you about cleaning the sink. You reply: “It seems like you’ve got a reason for saying that.”

A client demands something unreasonable. You reply: “It seems like you’ve got a reason for saying that.”

A coworker says something mean. You reply: “It seems like you’ve got a reason for saying that.”

“It’s disarming,” Voss explains. “The more you encourage the other side to talk, the more likely it is that you’ll get to the moment of collaboration quicker.”

That’s because once you know “the reason they’re saying that,” you can engage with that deeper truth — which is much clearer and easier to understand than whatever proxy they had fixated on.

After hearing Voss explain this, I realized that I’ve used a version of it many times. It always works. For example, here’s a recent time I used it while on the job at Entrepreneur.

Related: True Leaders Know the Value of Having Hard Conversations

I often join sales meetings with our large clients. My role is to talk about the Entrepreneur brand, our audience, and how we serve them.

Recently, we met with one such client. Our head of sales opened the meeting like he usually does, with some statistics about our audience. It’s boilerplate stuff. Nobody ever questions it.

But on that day, someone did. A woman on the client’s team asked him to clarify a statistic, then asked three or four follow-up questions. It was confusing. What was she so fixated on?

Eventually, I jumped in. I turned to the client and said: “You’re asking about this audience statistic, but I want to make sure I understand what you’re really asking about. Are you asking us about how we segment our audience, and therefore how you can reach the part of our audience that matters to you?”

Yes, she confirmed — that is what she was really asking about. Once we established that, we could have a more meaningful conversation.

In this case, I used a version of Voss’ approach, but added my hypothesis on top of it. I often like doing that, because it shows that I’m thinking about someone else’s needs and truly trying to understand them.

Either way, the critical element here is simple: It’s about understanding people. Because misunderstandings just beget more misunderstandings.

People can be frustrating! They tend to say only a fraction of what they’re thinking. And when we don’t understand them, we often chalk it up to nonsense.

We think, They don’t know what they’re saying. They’re idiots. They’re too emotional.

But please remember: People aren’t random. People are reasoned. That’s not to say everyone always has a good reason. But people always have a reason — and you can’t connect with someone until you understand what theirs is.

So dig for it. Never hesitate to seek clarity. People may not always be understandable, after all, but they all want to be understood.

Want more like this? Subscribe to Jason Feifer’s newsletter.