Almost 3 Decades Ago, I Wrote Myself a Check For $1 Million, When I Had Nothing. Here’s Why.

It reminds me that I can depend on myself to pull through, no matter how hard things get.

By Rex Kurzius Aug 18, 2022
Courtesy of Rex Kurzius

This story appears in the September 2022 issue of Entrepreneur. Subscribe »

In the fall of 1995, I wrote myself a check for $1 million.

I didn’t have the money — not even close. But in a moment of desperation, I needed something to work toward. And it worked.

Here’s what led to that moment.

My father unexpectedly passed away when I was 10, and I grew up poor. I went to community college and then earned an academic scholarship to Southern Methodist University’s Cox School of Business in Dallas, where I needed to keep my grades up to keep the scholarship. That was difficult, because at the same time, I was a newlywed and working after school to pay the bills.

Every day at college, I carried a bag with my bright pink-and-blue waiter’s uniform inside. Then I’d change into the uniform in the afternoon and try to avoid my peers as I walked to my car. It was embarrassing, but I knew that was just how it had to be.

Related: It Felt Impossible to Leave a ‘Dream Job’ With Guaranteed Retirement and Lifetime Medical Plan. Then I Realized How Much I’d Regret Staying.

By November 1995, the full course load and full-time work schedule left me physically and mentally drained. One night, I came home from work late and reached my breaking point. I had class in just a few hours and still needed to prepare, despite desperately needing a few hours of sleep. I sat on the floor of my apartment and sobbed.

Then I had an idea. With tears in my eyes, I got up and wrote myself a check for $1 million. I told myself that I would cash that check for the full amount three years after graduation — in 1999. At the time, I usually had so little money in my checking account I never knew if I would have enough to withdraw $40 from the ATM.

Fast-forward to 1996. I had graduated from SMU, and within three years, I was building the first of several companies I would launch and sell over the next few decades. The value of those businesses exceeded that of the check.

I never cashed it. Instead, I keep it as a reminder that I can get through it, no matter how tough things get.

Related: I Was a Refugee From Post-WWII Europe. Today, My Green Card Reminds Me That My Success Was Never Guaranteed.

In the fall of 1995, I wrote myself a check for $1 million.

I didn’t have the money — not even close. But in a moment of desperation, I needed something to work toward. And it worked.

Here’s what led to that moment.

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